she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think people are normalizing furries
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
