I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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