remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
