I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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