Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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