help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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