Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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