take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize