Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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