i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
