Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We are all done wearing pants today
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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