Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
