i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
