erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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