Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize