So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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