dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
