That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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