Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
