i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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