did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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