doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
