Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
