Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
