I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
