She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well I just put wine in my tea
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
