I need help removing her.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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