Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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