Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
