Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was confusing and full of hummus
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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