DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
