she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
