so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
