I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
