Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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