They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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