walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
