you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
