Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I died a long time ago.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
