I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
