I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
