Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
