yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
