i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
