i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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