Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
