I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
