I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
