You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
