My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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