I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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