I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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