Are we in a gay sports bar?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I deserve this hangover.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
