I think i peed on brittanys purse
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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