how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
