I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Too much gin, very little bucket
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
