I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
