Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
