who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
her facebook's as public as her vagina
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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