Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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