FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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