I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We got so high we made milksteak
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
