Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
