Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
