You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
