Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
