I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
