How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
