Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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