i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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